I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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