doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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