She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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