Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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