dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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