so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
