Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
