Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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