somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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