if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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