He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
