you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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