got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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