i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
