It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the condom got lost in my hair
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
