ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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