I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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