Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize