im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
