So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
