You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
