I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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