cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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