it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
