FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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