So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
