too bad you live with your parents still
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
