Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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