I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
