i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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