So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
