Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
