I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize