you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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