it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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