If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
