I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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