I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
