Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
