On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
