Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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