I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
