Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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