I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
