I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
