if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
