she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
