you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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