i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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