Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
