Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
