not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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