my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize