Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
