): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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