I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
