Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
