I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
