i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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