i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
