so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want a musical about memes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
